R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Let me just preface this by saying I am not a feminist. I LOVE when men hold doors open for me. I LOVE shaving my legs. Sometimes men just irritate me to death though with the things they come up with.

In Institute one night we were talking about how mothers should stay home to care for the children, etc. A guy raised his hand and said, "Yeah, and having women in the workplace increases the chance of infidelity." EXCUSE ME?!?! If a man is going to be unloyal he is going to be unloyal whether there are pretty women in his workplace or not. If he is not a loyal person he will find an opportunity to satisfy his desires whether he is in an all male work environment or not. Using his same reasoning, having men in the workplace increases their chance of becoming gay! Honestly people?? I was fuuuming.

Another time I was talking to a couple guys I know. One of them is extremely bitter about women/dating/marriage. He talked about how no girls are willing to commit. I mentioned in the conversation how it's sad that some girls in college now think they don't need a man in their life and just want their career. Later in the conversation he said, "Oh, and I have figured out I can't date college girls." Someone asked why and he said, "Because all they want is THEIR career and they think they don't need a man." (Okay so I know I had said that earlier, but the difference is he said he couldn't date college girls..) EXCUSE ME?!?! I immediately fired back, "I want a family, and I'm in college and I want a career! I don't want to be an uneducated mom!" He looked super shocked and just said, "Oh..." Good luck marrying a girl who hasn't gone to college, buddy. What happens when you have a kid come home with math homework and she can't help them with it and you're at work? What happens if you ever get really sick or become disabled and she doesn't have a single viable job skill? I mean honestly what does he want? Perhaps a fresh out of high school, naive 18 year old to be a baby factory. Or maybe even an older girl who never had the motivation to attend any college or obtain any kind of certificate, who has been working random jobs since she graduated. I mean really, good luck with that.

I was pretty outraged with both of these situations. I know plenty, PLENTY of girls in college, and also plenty out of college with careers, that want a family. That would give anything to find Mr. Right so they could FINALLY start the family they've been wanting for years. So please men, don't attribute a woman's career to not wanting a family. You would be disrespecting these girls that are doing what the prophet said by getting an education. And the women out of college that already have their respectable careers are being patient and waiting for the right man to come along, so please respect that.

12 hours of adventures

I surprised Doug with tickets to see Allred, Jason Reeves, and Yellowcard. The day of the concert he drove down and picked me up on campus and we started our day of adventures.

Adventure #1: Dried Squid.
We stopped at a rest stop and on the way to the bathrooms Doug spotted a Korean family. He started talking to them in Korean and they stood there and chatted away. I was in awe that they were cooking a full blown meal on a picnic table... Literally, with mini stove things, cutting boards, knives, you name it. Doug told me they invited us to stay for lunch but it would be an hour and we didn't have that much time. They opened a bag of dried squid and offered us each a piece. I thought sure why not and tried it. It was like a little piece of jerky that looked like it had scales and was clearish. The first bite was good! So I ripped off another piece and started chewing it up. Then it hit. It was seriously one of the WORST things I have ever tasted! I gag and wretch really easily anyway but with this...wow! You don't even know how hard it was to keep it in my mouth and keep chewing it so I wouldn't insult them! I had to keep it in my mouth and keep chewing it til they said goodbye and we were out of sight for me to spit it all out. Icky!

Adventure #2: Fall colors!
I hadn't even thought about it, but the colors in this canyon were GORGEOUS! All the hillsides were covered in orange and red trees.


Adventure #3: Slightly shady Korean restaurant.
Before our trip I looked up and found a Korean restaurant there. Doug hasn't eaten it in a long time and he's been wanting me to try it too. We went and only a couple things sounded even slightly appetizing so he helped me narrow it down to curry. It came out smelling amazing and bearing a shocking resemblance to vomit.
It was absolutely delicious! It was very spicy but I loved it too much to mind the fire in my mouth. It got worse after I tried the kim chi though, that almost made my eyes water over. Doug and his friend that met us there were really entertained.

Adventure #4: Concert.
The concert was one of my favorites that I've ever been to! It was by far the loudest and the ear that faced away from the speakers that I didn't plug, rang for 3 days and scared me to death.

Yay for Yellowcard Unplugged! Allred and Jason Reeves were amazing too but my camera was being ridiculous so we don't have any pictures of them.

We had other adventures on the way home like almost getting in a wreck (literally we missed it by inches, maybe less) and others. What a fun day it was!

Dear college textbook publishers,

To quote the movie Little Rascals, "I hate your guts...you are the scuuuum between my toes!"

There is something wrong with this picture.

Anatomy and Physiology package: $273
Spanish textbook (paper back, slightly larger than a normal novel): $92
Spanish novel (I saved ten dollars because I thought to order it through Barnes and Noble): $9
Statistics textbook: $137
Medical Terminology textbook: $73
Literature textbook: $65
Anthropology book 1: $22
Anthropology book 2: $18
Anthropology book 3: $20
Anthropology book 4 (the only textbook I could get used this semester): $18
(Yes, there were FOUR required books for anthropology, for crying out loud!)

Going to college: totally not priceless!

Before taxes: $727.
After taxes: $771 for required textbooks alone, that's not including some of the optional things I bought.

I bought my spanish textbook by itself one day and it made me feel slightly better and slightly worse that the cashier gasped when she told me my 92 dollar total for the stupid novel sized paperback textbook.

I hate textbook publishers almost as much as oil companies.

One of those weeks.

I give up on life this week! I feel like my brain fell out somewhere and I'm trying to crawl along without it. Here are some of the highlights of my week.

Monday I almost lit the kitchen on fire for my very first time. Out of habit I lit the front burner of the stove when I really meant to light the back one. I was doing other stuff in the kitchen thinking those popping and sizzling noises were the water coming to a boil. Then I saw smoke from the front burner. I had put a bag of vegetables partially on the front burner...the one I lit.

Wednesday I walked into a bakery and bought two loaves of bread. I paid and carefully put my change back in my wallet and walked out of the store. I was about halfway to my truck when they came out chasing me with my bread that I had left right on the counter.

Today I think beats them all. You know there's a certain time of month when a woman just NEEDS what she wants to eat... Well I was looking through my recipes and found my favorite cookie recipe that I haven't made in ages because they take forever to make. Well they sounded really good so I decided to make them. I had about half the ingredients mixed and went to grab the baking soda and the box was gone. I couldn't find it. So I grabbed a bucket to stand on and went digging around the very tip top shelf and voila there was a tiny unopened box. I made my cookies and when the first batch came out I ate one hot. Yum. Then I ate another one and it tasted a little weird so of course I had to try another. The third one actually burned my mouth, and not from temperature. Then I had a memory of putting the baking soda in and thinking that looked like a lot. I looked at my measuring spoons and sure enough, the TABLESPOON had remnants of white dust on it, INSTEAD OF THE TEASPOON. I apparently put in four tablespoons, instead of four teaspoons. ARGHGHGHGH. I tried to salvage the rest of the dough by adding more of a couple things, but when I baked it it didn't look right and when I tasted it I got so mad I threw everything away. So I was happy I had put dinner in the crock pot a few hours earlier and I knew it was going to be good, so I went to get it to serve it AND....(drumroll)....I had unplugged the crock pot to plug in the mixer for the cookies and never plugged the crock pot in. My eyes honestly filled with tears and if someone hadn't have been standing with me, I would have burst right into tears. So here I sit, waiting for my stupid dinner to rewarm in the crock pot. (And yes, I did remember to plug it back in this time.)

If you need a laugh

If you need a laugh, keep reading.

Colleges are places with lots of people. When you have so many people, you're bound to run in to every type. I just had the fortune of running into what I would say in a very sarcastic voice are "high, high class" people.

The very first session of Statistics (Monday) ended with a guy arguing with the professor about an answer for around 10 minutes. It was the kind of question that gave two possible answers and we had to decide which was correct. Wednesday (today) the professor started off class by telling us that the answer that had been argued over was both of the answers and explained why. The boy, meanwhile, was playing on his laptop and I'm sure didn't hear a word she said. Funny how that works!

My next and favorite experiences were in my literature class. Right before class started a girl came and sat in the desk in front of me. I noticed how big her hair was, it looked a little thick but she didn't manage it right. Instead of doing something to try and tame it down even a little bit, how she had it made it come out almost to the sides of her shoulders. It was like looking at a hairy upside down V. Here is the clincher... the professor walked and stood in front of our row and I literally could not see any trace of him. He totally and completely disappeared behind her hair. It was extremely difficult to hold in the giggles.
Meanwhile, diagonal to me, was a black guy wearing a dew rag and his sunglasses. He kept sticking his lips out which was pretty funny in itself. The killer was when he turned to look around the class (facing right in my direction) and had his lips stuck out all the way to his nose. And he wasn't trying to be funny! I really think he thought it was hot!! I was trying sooo hard not to burst out laughing. And as if that wasn't enough, when he turned back around, he proceeded to stroke his lips. Not in the side to side way which is somewhat normal but UP and DOWN. While they were still stuck out. The effort of not laughing was making my whole body tingle.

Just over an hour and a half later I headed to anatomy and physiology lab. I had an advantage since I was one of the only ones who had already had lecture..but still this is funny. The TA went over tissue types and then we were looking at slides of them. I had a microscope to myself and an older woman came over and had muttered something about not being able to find anything and asked me if I had found anything. (That immediately hit me that she probably didn't have a clue how to use a microscope since these were GOOD slides. And at the beginning of class the TA had asked if anyone didn't know how to use one and no one raised their hands...) Anyways. I told her yes and she asked me if she could look, so I let her. Here is the conversation. Excuse my little notes on it, but you really have to know how her voice was to get complete enjoyment out of what she said.

Her, in an utterly and completely dumbfounded voice- "What is that?!"
Me (wondering why she didn't just look at the sticker on the slide)- "Adipose."
Her- "Where is that found??"
Me- "Fat."
Her (absolutely gushing)- "Oh my gosh you are sooooo smart!!!!!! You know sooooo much!!!"
Me- "Well I should be, I've had this stuff over and over again."
Her (in a voice that said, I shouldn't have assumed you were smart since you apparently you have to take this class over again)- "Oh, have you taken this before?"
Me- "No. I took a high school anat and phys class that was taught at a college level, I took a biology class that had a big section on anat and phys, and I'm an EMT."
Her- "OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SOOOOOO SMART!!!!!"
Me- "Umm...not really. With as many times as I've had this stuff I should be better at it."
Her (gushing again)- "Well if you ever want to give me a tip or anything.." as she walked away.

Honestly. How much more awkward can a conversation about a school topic get?!?! I was standing there seriously feeling like a Greek god being hailed or something. Just because I knew what adipose is and where it's found. I guess some people are just incredibly easy to please. I wish she was the one grading my tests... haha!

The things we say..

Here is a quick funny story.

The background: Friday I left for Utah with Doug and his family for his family reunion. I forgot to pack a PJ shirt so last second I put one on top of my bag, under the straps. Saturday I met Missy and went to Lagoon and spent the night in Salt Lake with her, Dan, and Nicole.

The story: Picture this..Saturday night I was completely exhausted from not sleeping well the night before and being very active all day at a water park and then Lagoon. I was getting ready for bed and here is the conversation in a nutshell:

Me: "Crap, my shirt fell off in his car."
Nicole: "Oh it FELL off, did it??"
Me (embarrassed): "Yeah, it was on my bag."
Nicole: "On your back?!"

Okay, so that's pretty dirty but completely innocent at the same time. Don't pretend like you didn't laugh, or at least smile. :)

Chronicles of a Previous Biology Major

You learn things in biology you don't want to know. Trust me. The classes made me a worse germ freak than I already was, which is really truly saying something. But I really did learn some useful things.

Fact #1 If your mom does home canning, do you remember how she would always freak out about boiling the green beans for 15 minutes without touching it with the spoon or anything, to kill any BOTULISM? Guess what? That is a complete MYTH! If the botulism is not killed during the actual bottling process, you will die. Sad but true. Boiling the green beans will kill the organisms, but not the toxin...which just so happens to be (I'm not kidding) literally the most deadly substance known to mankind. So for at least for my cousins, you remember that growing up, getting scolded if you stirred them before 15 minutes and having to get out a new spoon. I know I did. I was pleased as could be to tell that to my mom and Debra...and I bet you wouldn't be able to guess that really didn't believe me. :) Apparently they have been bottling properly though, since we are all still alive (and boiling them never did anything).

Fact #2 The label reads "kills 99.9% of germs" and you think hooray. I know I used to, being the germ freak that I am. Haaa. I am happy to say since this day in class, I haven't used anything with that on the label. Here is why. Say you have a modest amount of germs...say 10,000 and we will pretend like we are cleaning the bathroom. You use something that kills 99.9% of germs, and have 100 left now. 100 that are now resistant to that antibacterial product. Now someone hops in the shower and the bathroom gets steamy and warm...which speeds up bacteria's reproduction significantly. They reproduce at a crazy fast rate under this condition and suddenly your bathroom is filled with bacteria that is completely resistant to whatever product you used. So next time you clean with that, no germs are killed and they keep reproducing. Sickening thought, isn't it?

Fact #3 (Disclaimer to Mattskie: if you continue reading you CANNOT get mad at me, I warned you!!!!) Melaleuca oil is not a good antibacterial product! In our lab we had to do a final project and one group chose to test different antibacterial products. They put disks soaked in the product into the petri dish that had been swiped from someplace germy. Some of the petri dishes didn't really have anything, some of them had a dot or two here and there... but the Melaleuca oil petri dish GREW bacteria everywhere! Not that it matters, since you now know cleaning with antibacterial products isn't a good idea anyway. :)


The two morals of the story:

Bottle properly or you will die. :)
AND
Soap and water is the best cleaning agent.